It all started a month back I think. It's either the laptop that is problematic or I am not a good keeper of it. The latter one is the best answer. I think.
My poor laptop is 2 and 1/2 year old now. An Acer Aspire 5552. I got it before I came to UK using the money MARA gave to get ourself a laptop.So it is about time for it to 'die', isn't it? Huhu. To be honest, I didn't take a good care of it while it's still 'alive'. I wasn't doing the things I supposed to do. From what my housemate told me(few weeks ago)I need to refragment it, delete the cookies bla bla and the most important thing THE ANTIVIRUS. My antivirus has been expired since ageessss. Seriously, I think since 1st year. Poooor laptop. The reason being with the 'couldn't-careless' attitude?
1- Not interested. Just want to use it without having the responsibility to actually take an extra effort to care for it.
2- Don't care that much becoz of it's-not-my-money-and-why-should-i-care-? attitude.
3- Ignorant and didn't even try to learn.
So, the real problem arised when I was in the middle of doing my essay. The laptop started to hang, switched off by itself and it worked really2 slow. Of all time, He picked the best time, when I'm in desperate need of a laptop, when my financial is not as sound as before and when my contract phone has ended, hence, i need to get a new one. For a month or two I've been laptop and handphone hunting all day and night. And it's NOT an easy task. I found it really dreadful and tiring and it took alooot of my time. Making decisions are not easy as you really don't know what's the best thing to do or what is the right choice? O Allah, You are truly the All-Knowing and I am NOTHING compared to You. I can't even make the right decision for myself without Your guidance and help.
Too many choices to think with too little time. The budget, making comparison between laptops and shops, what to consider? Is it the price or the size? The weight perhaps? The specs? The brand? What should I do with the old laptop? Repair it? But I don't have time. Sell it? Who would want an old laptop? And most important thing, the price.
After hours of time spent on searching, pestering and making other people's life miserable as mine, I decided to just go to PC world and get a new latop. I was tired and all I need is just a laptop that works!
Having to spent hours of my precious time (during emergency time, every second is priceless!)I decided to just get a netbook. Advent 4211C. With having the thought in mind that my housemate could repair my laptop by reformating it, hence, I thought of just getting a small notebook as my second laptop since I desperately need it at that time and I'll be needing it when I'm travelling. So, got back and tried the netbook. And yes, indeed it's a good guess. I couldn't get into the internet and I didnt have any clue why. I talked to her about my laptop and she said she did try to reformated it but it didn't work. If i knew she had reformat it, I would just get a new 'proper' laptop instead of a netbook. Huhu. Feeling sad, frustrated and couldn't do my essay that night, I was determined to return the netbook back the next day(which is today).
After a quick browse on what laptop to buy, with a high Tawakal Tu'allah, I went to PC World for a refund so that I can get a new standard laptop,Toshiba. Sedap je lelaki kat counter tue kate "we don't do change of mind policy". Hello, mane org tau kottt. Jahat betul org tue. Bukan nyer nak btau awal2. Haruslah kite tak terfikir kan bende tue. Kalau org tau mmg takkan beli kot kat situ! Huhu..
It felt like a long waited volcano suddenly erupted! And the lava was full of frustrations, tiredness, anger, worries and sadness.. Walking out as fast as I could from the shop to safe myself from being embarrased, I broke down and cried in the rain. After all the hardships, I was waiting for a happy ending. But not this time. Maybe I haven't passed all His 'tests' yet. And again, in His unique way, He wanted me to go back again to Him. He wanted to tell me that He is Al-Malik. He owned me and He can do watever He wants and I've got no right to question nor making 'suggestions' to Him.
I sat by the corner for quite a while until I managed to cool down a little bit to think rationally. I couldnt get my gbp273 back and no way have enough money to get a new standard laptop. Then, I just need to make do with watever I have now which is this netbook. In the end, I didnt buy the Toshiba. I came back with this netbook. Learnt about the internet settings with the IT guy at medic school and Alhamdulillah, everything went ok since this evening until now. Just waiting for another interesting episode or you can say 'drama' of my life..
He knows best and put ur utmost trust in Him no matter how miserable you think your life is. Just try your very best to make it better and as smooth as it can be but do not forget that He is still the Al-Mighty. No matter how much you think you have tried to make your life perfect but if He still doesnt permit it, you won't get what you want. You just need to try again and again with all your heart without giving up and putting Him first than the rest.
Take home message-
1- Do take care of your possession as dearly and as careful as you can. Treasure it even though you didn't buy it using your own money. You'll never know when you might need it the most.
2- Use every opportunity that Allah has given you as wisely as you can. Let say the laptop is like our own life. What if i've been wasting my whole life before the day I die? Just imagine how regretful someone will be when he knows his life will end soon but he just realised that all his life he didn't take his responsibilities as a servant to Allah SWT and do watever that Allah asked him to do? What if someone has that i-dont-care-what-will-happen-to-me-when-i-die attitude? What if someone has the thinking of "I'm already a Muslim, why should i bother to become a better Muslim? All Muslims are going to heaven anyway." What if someone is ignorant about his duty as a Muslim and he didn't even try to get to know Allah and Islam before 'he hit the bucket?'
Can he just ask Allah to refund his wasted life for a new life and hopefully he'll learnt from his mistakes and he'll become a good servant after that?